Hello, dear ones! Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. ❤
My first year of marriage has been a difficult one, in which I’ve felt my weakness highlighted, my core values challenged, and my heart exposed.
The boundaries I used to guard my heart that had served me well in the past were suddenly no longer working for me. In fact, I found that my attempts to hide from emotional discomfort were damaging my relationship with my husband. Through him, I began to see where my defenses were limiting in every part of my life.
In my creativity, I found that I often shied away from even starting, because I was more comfortable to imagine my potential than take the risk of failure.
In my friendships, I saw myself avoiding conflict (and therefore conflict resolution) for fear of rejection.
And when I looked in the mirror and noticed I was tired or sad or gaining weight, I often chose to ignore these things, because I was afraid that nothing would change if I tried.
Through marriage, I’ve learned that vulnerability is more than a choice – it’s a necessity in order to truly give and receive love.
We crave and we fear that connection. Jaeda DeWalt says it well: “To be deeply loved means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities…hopes, hurts, fears, and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are is the real you, and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling than complete love. It’s worth the risk – reach for it.”
In the face of fear and the arms of love, I took a deep look within and began to practice vulnerability. At first, it felt invasive. And sometimes it still does.
I’ve watched my carefully-made walls of self protection come crashing down.
I’ve felt exposed and misunderstood, upset and laid bare.
I’ve felt tired, I’ve felt ugly, I’ve felt shameful.
And beyond all of that discomfort, I’ve experienced freedom and love to a depth I’d never allowed myself before.
Healthy vulnerability is the bridge between fear and love. It takes courage and can feel stretching, but the reward is vast and high. Don’t limit yourself from that kind of love. Reach for it – it’s worth the risk. It’s worth the risk.